OK so now what?
What do you do when you have experienced so much grief and in such a short time?
Our year began with a bang! Our home electrical appliances began to explode or just give in!
We lost our fridge, our clothes dryer, the iron, the microwave, the phone.
Then my father passed away and about 6 weeks later I lost the dearest sweetest little dog. All she ever did was smile and ask to be cuddled and loved. Crap. could it get any worse???
I work in Aged care a lot and I deal with death as if it’s a release for them. They’ve had a full life, and the illnesses and problems they have don’t give them any quality of life. Some elderly residents pray for death. They will refuse to eat and drink. They will cry out in pain. They will refuse treatments and medications because they’ve had enough. I feel for them and I understand their emotional and physical pain. When my Dad passed away it was sudden, but I know if he had been given the choice he would have opted for the quick way out. He didn’t want to linger and it was something I had discussed with both my parents.
I felt relief for him when he went because he was in no more pain. I will say though it was very hard not to lose it. It was a sad time for all.
Then the loss of ‘Lovey’ last friday evening. I didn’t have time to deal with my Dad’s passing and I was faced with a loved one’s death again.
Now we have Boo! We got Boo soon after we got ‘Lovey’ to be a housemate so ‘Lovey’ wouldn’t get lonely if we had to go out and couldn’t take her with us. Now Boo is left and looking a bit lonely. Hmmmmmmm tricky situation. ‘Lovey’s’ cothes will never fit Boo. Boo won’t sleep next to me as that was ‘Lovey’s’ spot on the bed so she curls up on the warm wheat bag at my feet. She is doing some odd things now and looking a bit forlorn… I need to keep her busy to keep her mind off it… Ok so the other night I ordered a little teddy bear. It should be delivered tomorrow as I paid for express post..
When I received the little fluffy jacket I ordered for ‘Lovey’ and pulled it out of the packet, Boo thought it was a teddy and grabbed it and tried to run… She thought it was a teddy. Ooohhhhh… Poor little bugga. I had to take it from her and put it away. In actual fact I had to nearly pry her jaws open to get it from her. Come on the teddy. It’s pink and fluffy and it comes from a wonderful online pet store call ‘My Pet’s Wardrobe’.. It might give Boo something to do.
I thought of purchasing a small soft toy in the shape of a dog for her to play with but that thought brings about some pretty odd imaginings…
Have you ever wondered about people who have loved a pet so much they wanted to have it cloned??? What a stupid idea. I mean really.. How many times do these nitwits want their hearts broken. That pet will never outlive them and they’ll be left to mourn the same dog again… Nah! Dumb idea..
I personally couldn’t do that. As much as I would love to have this precious, tiny little baby back in my arms… I still couldn’t do it. That pet wouldn’t be the same either. They wouldn’t have a lifetime of experiences, they would only look the same. I suppose a few of their mannerisms would be identical but that’s probably it.
I did some soul searching tonight and asked myself how I could be so devastated and lonely by the loss of this little pet and after considerable time and thought, I realised.. The passing of my Dad was difficult and someone had to do all the things needed so my mother wouldn’t have to do it and go it alone. I never had time to grieve then. After that I went to work to keep myself busy and it did help. Then we lost ‘Lovey’ and the pain has doubled… It all came back with a vengeance and has been haunting me. I have never felt so desolate in my life. I have been crying and sobbing for 4 days now. It’s been said.. ‘Time heals all wounds’ It does too. I am waiting for ‘time’ to heal my wounds… and it better bloody well hurry up too. I have a life to get on with and a family who rely on me… Does any of this make sense or am I just babbling away???
How do I get a doggie hoodie on Boo with her ears?